That’s right, our new program is going to be airing Thursday, February 12, and you’re all invited to see us in action.
In the series, I play a hard-hitting yet soft-spoken former alpaca breeder-turned-private detective, who goes deep undercover to foil a ring of villainous optometrists bent on world domination. Their dastardly plan is to give people the wrong eyeglass prescriptions, thus blurring their vision and paving the way for the nefarious oculists to seize power while the rest of the world looks indistinctly on.
My wife, of course, plays a mysterious Asian femme fatale, pressed unwillingly into the services of this opprobrious optical organization through a convoluted and highly improbable series of events which involves a lot of expository dialogue in dimly-lit restaurants.
Our boys are cast as Dickensian street urchins, street-smart and rough-edged but with hearts of gold, who provide snappy one-liners and light comic relief. Their tragic past slowly unfolds through awkward interior monologue and a series of bewildering flashbacks. Reviewers constantly refer to them as “those adorable half-Asian tots.”
Tune in to see explosions! betrayals! men in lab coats! careening car chases and hilarious hijinks!!!
Okay, so I may have stretched the truth there just a skosh. Truth is, we’ll be appearing on HGTV’s ‘House Hunters International’. The episode airs this Thursday night at 10:30 EST in the US, and, to the best of my knowledge, it will contain neither evil optometrists nor explosions.
No doubt I will be writing about our experiences filming the show – after I check with the HHI lawyers to see if that will result in me being on the receiving end of a lawsuit. To be honest, the filming was an interesting and generally entertaining experience, so I can’t see the legal department having much issue with me writing about it.
Aerial view of Sitges, where the episode takes place
Anyway, hope you can make time to check out the show, and afterwards please let me know what you thought. You’ll have to contact me through my agent Sharon, as I’m going to be busy with a project I’m working on with Brad, George and Leo, but you can be sure that my publicist will respond to any comments you care to leave.
Where is your wife’s sweet purple dress from? I love her style!
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I made that dress. From silkworms I raised myself.
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LOL that’s fantastic! I’d watch the first show in a heartbeat!
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The 4-year-old walked in and said, “Is this House Hunters? Ugh!” Your TV debut got bumped momentarily by my disgruntled daughter who was expecting to watch some annoying Netflix show, but I just watched it without interruption thanks to the miracle we call ‘school’. Aside from the beautiful surroundings and cool apartment (great pool, by the way!), do you know what I noticed most? You and your wife seem to enjoy each other very much. Maybe it was just some smart editing (or maybe my head’s in the clouds with Valentine’s Day nonsense all over the place) but she seemed to laugh at all your jokes. Lots of wives on House Hunters seem to roll their eyes at their spouses and disagree with everything the guys say. Well done on ditching the states and enjoying this big,wonderful world. It sure looks like you guys are having fun.
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I’m very lucky indeed that after nearly 20 years my wife still finds me vaguely amusing at times. It’s funny, because they tried to introduce as much tension and conflict as possible during the filming – they were indeed seemingly disappointed that we agreed on pretty much everything and got along so swimmingly – but any disagreement was more or less prompted (almost scripted) by the director.
We are indeed having fun, and enjoying this “big, wonderful world”. Thanks for watching, Mama, and apologies to your little one.
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I thoroughly enjoyed your episode. You came across as a happy and fun couple. And you brought back memories of my first apartment – the one with the window in the shower. Good luck in Spain! And if the travel bug ever brings you to Philadelphia, PA, stop by and say hello.
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Thanks, Claire. If we’re ever in Philadelphia, we’ll be sure to look you up. Granted, Philly is fairly middling on our list of potential destinations, but you never know. Thanks for all of your help (if this is the Claire I’m thinking of) in the matter. Now we just have to find a way to watch the episode ourselves. 🙂
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Great show. You two were some of the funniest, happiest buyers we’ve seen on that show. Glad you picked the place with room for visitors. House trade in Wyoming sometime?
“Hate watch”: I like that.
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Thanks, Ted. We had a lot of fun filming this thing. And a house trade in Wyoming? We’re definitely always open.
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Sounds cool! Looking forward to see it. Best if you have a vimeo or youtube link to share after the broadcast 😉
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I’m going to do my best to post a link as soon as one is available.
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House Hunters and HHI are a couple of my favorite shows to hate-watch, but I promise not to shout at the television during your episode. I’m pretty sure you’re not going to complain that the bathroom only has one sink, and that the washing machine is zOMG in the kitchen. 😉
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I certainly won’t, Alison, because our washing machine is indeed in the kitchen (where else would it be?), and why in the world would you need two sinks in the bathroom – one for each hand?
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Hahaha. Right! I’ve set the DVR to record the show, just in case I forget to watch. Looking forward to seeing you and your family!
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