This would be a picture book, obviously, probably for ages 3-6, but you’ll have to use your imaginations to conjure up the crazy creatures that keep sneaking into the little boy’s room, since I’m certainly no artist.
Let me know what you think – I’d love some feedback. And if you happen to be in the children’s book publishing business, that ‘contact’ button has your name all over it.
I’ve kissed your head, I’ve said goodnight,
The covers are tucked, off goes the light.
But wait! But wait! It’s not too late,
The Haftapee has just shimmied in,
Dancing a wee-jig with his guilty little grin,
Let’s go sit on the potty, let’s plop him on the seat,
I’ll carry him in on my fast little feet.
I hear no sprinkle, no sign of a stream,
Not even a tinkle, do you know what I mean?
He lied! He lied! The Haftapee lied!
He told me a fib, he said that he tried,
But sometimes he’s tricked, he’s not quite so sure,
And now he feels silly and just slipped out the door,
He’ll go for the night, won’t come back until day,
He won’t dare to come in as long as you stay…
It’s back to your bed now, I don’t want to hear
Any more from your creatures –
Have I made myself clear?
Over there, by the cup, next to the night light,
A Drinkawatta is slinking just into sight.
He must be real thirsty, he must be so drying,
Please give him some water, to keep him from dying.
See, how he’s gulping and gasping all of it down?
And you thought he was faking, you with your frown.
I think he’s ok now,
His belly is full,
There’s no danger of dying,
So let me just pull…
Oh, a Mybakizitchy has wormed its way up
My pajama leg and now it’s nearing the top!
Its creeping and crawling I simply can’t bear,
It’s making my backside feel scritchy down there,
Now it’s inching its scritch up my back, oh no!
Could you give a quick scratch, before you go?
There, is that better?
Is the itching all gone?
Can you please go to sleep now,
You and your yawns.
Ahh, Butiluvyu has snuggled into bed with a sigh,
He’s looking at you with those soft sleepy eyes,
His heart is so full, him arms are outstretched,
If you’d give him a hug, it’s not so farfetched
To think that he’ll quickly go down without fuss,
The Butiluvyu only needs a teeny cuddle from us.
I love you too, but that’s not the issue,
Your bedtime’s long past,
This is the last time I kiss you…
AHHH, a Squitofly’s in here! My neck he just bited!
Now he’s right round my head, I think he’s alighted,
Please squish him, please squash him, to stop all the squealing,
There he is, just above me, he’s up on the ceiling!
It’s hard to relax when these creatures keep creeping,
Could you stay just a little, to help me with sleeping?
No more bugs, no more beasts, let’s get you to bed,
There are creatures all right, but they’re all in your head,
I’ve sung you a song, I’ve read you three books,
Now please close your eyes, and don’t give me that look.
Just one more thing…
Arrrrgh! What is it?
The bathroom I think I really must visit,
Don’t be grumpy, don’t be grousy, don’t be angry with me,
But Daddy…I have to pee.